Blargghhh!!!
Blarggghhh!!! That's what Charlie Brown would call his blog.
I got lunch at the BP "Wild Bean Cafe" last week. That's my only option, since there are no Wawa's in Ohio. Nothing will ever match a Wawa, except a Wawa. That's the goddamn truth. If Morgan Spurlock ("Super Size Me") decides to launch his next attack on Wawa's fine selection of fresh-made sandwiches and wraps, I would consider it blaspheme, and I would write him an angry letter.
Back to my story. I was ordering my sandwich when I noticed that the woman taking my order was missing her two front teeth. Everything about the woman, besides her lack of teeth, was totally normal and in place. She was a totally normal looking older lady. She had full makeup, her hair was done, and she was wearing a tasteful amount of gold jewelry, but she was missing her two front teeth. Oh if those missing teeth could talk, they could probably fill a book. How did she lose them? I was so distracted thinking about this that I actuall started zoning out, and she had to get my attention to tell me that my sandwich was done. The fact that this woman was missing her two front teeth isn't that exciting. There are plenty of people in the world that are missing teeth. It was everything else about the woman that made the missing teeth seem really out of place. The lady was totally made up and clean and pleasant. Like she woke up in the morning, did her hair, did her make up, put on her jewelry, then looked in the mirror at the nickel-sized hole in the front of her mouth and said "nobody will notice".
I kept trying to figure out how she lost her teeth. I've only known one person who lost their two front teeth as an adult, he was skateboarding and hit a wall teeth-first. I knew she didn't lose them that way. I figured, maybe she just didn't take care of them, and they rotted out or something, but the rest of her teeth were super white. So that couldn't have been the case. Then I figured it out, someone punched her. That's the only explanation. I had decided, in my mind, that someone had punched her in the mouth and knocked out her teeth. Just when I started to doubt my assumption, I noticed a tattoo on her arm. The tattoo was completely blurred and unreadable. It was one of those tattoos that can speak volumes about a person's past. There's only two places you can get tattoos that end up looking like that; the Navy (during WWII), and prison.
In the 3 minutes I had known this woman, I had her life story completely figured out. She was a WWII sailor who lost her teeth in a bar fight. I thanked her twice. Once for the sandwich, and once for her military service. Then I was on my way.