Christmas Dissapointment
I was ten years old which may or may not have been too old to believe in Santa, but i still believed in him anyway. It was Christmas eve and my Mom and step Dad took my sister and I to look at Christmas lights. Once we were finished we decided to stop off at Kmart, I still can't remember exactly why. While we were sitting in the parking lot, my parents thought it was a good idea to tell my sister and I the truth about Santa Clause.
My stepfather started the conversation, "We're pretty sure that you guys know this by now, but Santa Clause isn't real." My sister was way too smart for her age at this point, so she already knew what was going on. Right away, she said "Yeah, I know Santa isn't real." My mom said "Jimmy, did you know about Santa?" I kept my cool and said "Well, duh. Of course I know Santa isn't real."
On the outside, I was tough and mature. On the inside, I was crushed. This Christmas before that one, I began to feel that maybe, there was a slight possiblity that Santa Clause was bullshit. I tried my hardest not to think about it. I tried to hold on to the last piece of childhood that I had left. So much for that. It was Christmas eve and I just heard, from the mouths of the people that had originally convinced me of his existence, that there was no Santa Clause. Not only that, but now I had to contain my disappointment for the remainder of the evening. Thanks Mom and Stepdad. Your timing was fucking impeccable. Most parents would wait until at least February to spring the truth on their kids. Maybe give them a couple of months to digest the news. Not you guys, you told me on Christmas eve. That gave me a whole night to pick up the pieces. At least I got a good night's sleep, because I wasn't lying awake listening for the sound of deer hooves hitting the roof.
My kids will have it different. I'm going to teach my kids the value of dissapointment. When they're about six years old I'm going to teach them a valuable lesson. On Christmas eve, I'll get them all hyped up: "You kids ready for Christmas?! Are you excited?! I bet you can't wait to see all those presents under the tree!" They'll be so excited! Then, on Christmas morning, when they walk down the stairs and they take a look under that tree, they won't see a god damn thing. There will be nothing there. My kids will say to me "Daddy, where are all the presents? Why didn't Santa Clause come?" I'd say to them "Well kids, that's life. Sometimes things don't go your way." They'd ask me "Where's Santa Clause?" I'd reply "Well kids, sometimes life sucks and some people are assholes. Santa Clause is one of them. Santa Clause is an asshole."
Now you're saying, Jim that's a bit harsh, but I disagree. You see, I think I will have done my kids a favor, one day they will thank me. Because I will have taught them the true meaning of dissapointment.