Suck It, McGyver
I've been with my girlfriend for five years this month, and I'm still trying to figure out how I pulled it off. My girlfriend is far more attractive than me. But, when you break heterosexual attraction to a very basic level, it goes far beyond physical attraction. Women look for a lot of different things in a potential mate. But mostly, they look for a man who can provide. Someone with stability and potential. Someone who can offer a decent future for their offspring. There are many things that signify to a member of the opposite sex that a man is a solid provider, and therefore a preferred, potential mate. Things like a good job, financial stability, and resourcefulness indicate that a man will be able to take care of his family. I offer none of those things. Except maybe resourcefulness.
Resourcefulness is most definitely the only thing I've got going for me. I haven't had a real job since 2003, I don't have an active savings account and my car has a kelly blue book value of $475. The only thing I own of any value would be my computer and video equipment, and that could be valued at less than $3,000. So clearly net worth and financial status are where I fall short. But resourcefulness, now that's where I outshine the rest of the pack. You may not see being resourceful as a girl-magnet but if every Macgyver episode ran an extra 15 minutes, I guarantee you there would've been sex scenes.
Not that I feel the need to prove myself to the public, but I'm going to anyway. I'm going to give you the most recent example of my resourcefulness. I'm sure most of you, especially guys, are familiar with Gillette's line of Mach 3 and Mach 4 razors. Let me refresh your memories if you're not, the Mach 3 razor was neon green and black the Mach 4 razor is orange and silver. The green cartridges won't fit on the orange handles and vice versa. That's the only important information you need to know.
When you're shopping for replacement razor cartridges you have to make sure you get the proper ones, depending on which model you own. Here's where I made my mistake. I am the proud owner of the "Mach 4 Power" model. When I bought new cartridges at target, I bought the ones that fit the Mach 3 model. Oh my, what a mistake. A FOURTEEN DOLLAR MISTAKE to be exact. That's right, the razors cost 14 dollars a pack, and they didn't fit my Mach 4 handle.
What was I going to do now? I couldn't return them. I'd already opened them, and with today's laundry list of un-cureable communicable diseases, I'm sure Target would not give me a refund. So, instead of losing out on 14 bucks, I decided to put my resourcefulness to the test. I decided that I would make my own razor handle. After close examination of the razor cartridges I realized that a piece of coat hanger would do the trick. Long story short, I ended up with this fine piece of jail house quality craftsmanship you see below.
I might not be able to buy you a nice house, a fancy car, or some cigarettes. But, I could fashion a papoose out of an old t-shirt and some hair scrunchies in less than five minutes. That has to count for something.