I Totally Could've Made Out With That Guy
I was once again propositioned by an old man. I didn't even realize it at first. Bill Squire brought it to my attention. Bill came to pick me up last week to give me a ride to the airport. I was walking out of my building, on the way to Bill's car and I was stopped by an older black guy who lives in my building, he shares a place with another older guy. He stopped me because I was carrying two movies that I had rented and was about to return. He said "What movies you got there?"
I said "The Squid and The Whale and Oliver Twist"
He was like "I can get you a copy of Broken Trail"
I said, "Nah, that's ok." It took me a minute to realize that he was referring to Brokeback Mountain.
Then he said "Oh, you're not into that?"
"Not really." I said. I was referring to the fact that I was not really into buying bootleg movies.
He said "You sure? I can get you a copy of Broken Trail!"
I said "Nah, I'm good. I have to go catch a plane." He just kind of looked at me weird, then I walked to Bill's car. When I got in the car, I told Bill what happened, he said "I think you almost got raped." That may have been a slight exaggeration on Bill's part, but it made me realize what was really going on.
The guy was "testing" me. He asked me if I wanted a copy of a "Broken Trail", meaning Brokeback Mountain. Now, you probably think I'm over-reacting, but if you could've seen the guys face when he asked me, you'd know where I was coming from. He asked me in that "You know what I mean" kind of way. Like when you're trying to pull a friend away from a conversation and you say, "I have to go to the bathroom, don't you?". You say "I have to use the bathroom, don't you?" but you mean, "Let's get the fuck out of here."
This guy was saying "I can get you a copy of Brokeback Mountain" but he meant "You' re the exact piece of chubby young man ass that I've been a hankerin' for." It's as if Brokeback Mountain has become some sort of sexual preference indicator. Like if you want to find out of a guy is gay you say
"Have you seen Brokeback Mountain?", he'll say
"yeah, who hasn't" Then you'll say
"No, have you SEEN Brokeback Mountain?" His answer will indicate his preference. It's the latest litmus test for gay guys with bad "gay-dar".
I know I'm getting a bit off topic here, but the whole point is, I totally could've made out with that guy.